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| The Key that Opens the Door to Extraordinary Families |
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Thursday, September 6, 2007
What is this new game we play called? There is no formal name, but this game is a family ritual, and family rituals help you create extraordinary families. According to the Webster's Dictionary, a ritual is "any formal, customary, or ceremonial observance, practice or procedure". Family rituals help define who your family is. Every family has a different way of doing things and your children will come to identify certain rituals as special, and they will begin to differentiate themselves from other families. Family rituals provide comfort and security. Think of the child that follows the same ritual every night before bed. Mom or Dad helps her get ready for bed. They read 3 books, talk about their day and end the evening with bedtime prayers. This child comes to expect this routine every night and this very ritual is what provides the trust that is needed between parent and child. Family rituals build family bonds. My two boys have a special handshake they engage in to demonstrate their love for one another. It's too complicated for parents, so we don't even try to learn it. You can count on family rituals to generate a lot of wonderful family memories. I very clearly remember, as a child, going every Sunday to the donut shop with my parents. We would pick up our donuts and then go park in a parking lot somewhere. I would sit in the backseat eating my donut while my parents read the newspaper in the front seat. Now, it might seem like a strange ritual, but even today, as an adult, having a donut on Sundays brings back special memories. Lastly, family rituals can be used to teach values and practical skills. Without even knowing it, having a family game night is teaching your children patience, cooperation, and good sportsmanship. There are five major purposes for family rituals: 1. Family rituals are used to celebrate something. Rituals during the holidays are probably the most popular kind of ritual. Most families have a certain ritual they go through that helps them celebrate Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Cinco de Mayo, and other special dates. But what about celebrating the first day of Spring, the last day of school, golden birthdays, or report card day? The possibilities are endless. 2. Family rituals can be used to smooth transitions and change. When it was time for my younger son to give up his pacifier, we introduced the "Paci Fairy". We told him the Paci Fairy was going to come at night to take all his pacifiers and leave him a special toy. My son never asked for his pacifiers after that night. We all go through change in life, and family rituals can make those times of change exciting and normal. Consider introducing rituals for potty training, new births, 1st period for girls, 1st shave for boys, new drivers, and graduations. 3. Another purpose for family rituals is to solve a problem. There are always family problems that need to be solved. Weekly family meetings are an excellent way to address those problems. Consider having chore rituals to increase family cooperation. I know of families that will go through a silly ritual when their child is having a temper tantrum. 4. Family rituals should be used to help family members connect with one another. Mealtime and bedtime rituals are excellent ways to connect. Introducing family fun nights on a regular basis generates closeness. My older son and I have a special way we say "I Love You". It is a hand signal we use that no one else understands. Connection in your family is critical to creating an extraordinary family. 5. Family rituals are great for teaching skills and values. One great way to introduce values into your home is to create a "Value of the Month" program. Decide what your top 12 values are for your family and assign that value to a month. For instance, February is a great time to teach the value love, and November is perfect for thankfulness or gratitude. Incorporate special rituals each month that teach those values. Reading books, playing games, doing a family community project, and watching movies that pertain to that value are great ways to reinforce what you want your children to learn. Think about the family rituals you already engage in. What rituals would be good to add to your family to create happier and closer relationships? What problems in your family need to be addressed, and how might you add a ritual to help with them? What changes or special days do you want to celebrate in your family? To get you started, I recommend having one solid ritual of connection daily. Create one modest weekly family ritual, and work in a monthly family ritual as well. Celebrate at least one family ritual for major holidays and birthdays. Remember, the purpose of creating family rituals is to equip your children with the skills and values you want them to learn, great family relationships, and wonderful family memories. About The Author: Lori Radun, CEC – certified life coach for moms and author of The Energy Equation eCourse, and The Self Esteem Series. To receive her FREE newsletter and the special report on raising great children, go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com The Beauty and Grace of Flower Fairies Among the legendary creatures that have helped shaped our imagination as children are fairies. My daughter began her fascination with after receiving a gift from her grandmother. She gave her a story book filled with illustrations of Flower Fairies and even now she is still enchanted by them. Flower Fairs are a rather small type of fairies who grow only up to 6 inches. They were created by author and artist Cicely Mary Baker. Epilepsy prevented Cicely from going to school and was instead tutored at home. It gave her a lot of time to develop her talent for drawing and used the children who attended the kindergarten that her sister ran as models. Cicely’s artistic talent and her love or nature enabled her to create a wonderful magical world for the Flower Fairies. Her drawing was intricate with vivid colors that stirred the reader’s imagination. The flowers and plants were drawn carefully with the accuracy of a seasoned botanist. Her first book, titled Flower fairies of Spring came out in 1923. In a time that people were fascinated with fairies the book and others that followed were instant hits. Cicely presented these fairies as very shy creatures. They have elf-like ears and flew around in gossamer style wings. They dwell around the woods and meadows and looked after the flower or plant they are responsible for. Flower Fairies are named after the flower or plant they care for. Every time a seed is planted a fairy is born. Most of thee flowers and plants are commonly found in our gardens. Their names came from flowers and plants like foxglove, daisy, buttercup, thistle, heather, and candy tuft. Today, the Flower fairies have come a long way from their traditional garden dwellings. They can now be seen in books, posters prints, fabrics and wall paper. Take care when you add improvements in your garden. You may never know if the fairies are present. About The Author: Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning Flower Fairies. Visit our site for more helpful information about Flower Fairies and other similar topics. My Weird Obsession with Holiday Cards Have you ever sent holiday cards to your friends? For some people, sending these cards is one way of sharing the memory and experience of their holidays to their friends and family. In my case, holiday cards have become an obsession. Sending these cards is my favorite part of holidays. Not only do I purchase enough to send to friends and family back home, I also collect entire sets of cards to bring back home as keepsakes of the holidays I’ve experienced. My memories are vague when it comes to remembering the moment that I began my obsession. I think it might have started when my family received holiday cards from our relatives in Hawaii. The feeling I experience was quite powerful, I can still vividly recall that experience. It felt so good to hold that card in my hand that it almost felt as if I was in Hawaii having a wonderful time with a faceless cousin. I guess that it was during this time that I realize that if holiday cards could produce such a powerful effect on me, they would surely have the same effect on other people. When I had grown up, got a good job and began to make a little money, I started to travel on holidays of my own. In each place I visited, I would always make it a point to stop by at the nearest tourist station to send a set of holiday cards home. My family and friends have learned to keep track of my hectic schedule through the number of cards they receive from me every year. Sending cards is also my way of letting people know that you remember them even if you are having a good time on some exotic island getaway. I am so obsessed with sending holiday cards that my obsession has probably over taken other people’s obsession with sending out cards on festive occasions. My mother for instance would always send cards during Christmas. But even her mammoth efforts pale in comparison to my passion of sending cards on holidays. Maybe you should also try it yourself. You might also find sending holiday cards an enjoyable activity. About The Author: Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning Holiday Cards. Visit our site for more helpful information about Holiday Cards and other similar topics. |
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